If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
