your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
