Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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