Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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