please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'd cum for enchiladas.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
