great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
