her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
