Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
