just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
