She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
