Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
