woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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