I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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