Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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