So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
