omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
