well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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