There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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