i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
