Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
