call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
So here I am, sexting at work.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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