Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
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