If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Randomize
