Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
