Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
