You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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