My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Non-Jews are for practice
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
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