Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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