We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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