Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
