Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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