She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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