when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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