I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Just high enough for therapy.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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