Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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