It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
We are all done wearing pants today
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
