Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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