so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
