My boss' voice literally gives me gas
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
