i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
