My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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