i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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