I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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