There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Vodka?
Forever.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
