also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
