I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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