i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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