that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
