Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
