If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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