I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Even the bartender felt bad for me
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Randomize
