ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize