is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I just blew my weed a kiss
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
