she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
