oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I want to have your abortion
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
