No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm both gender and math confused
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
