i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
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