yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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