What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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