I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
