Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
