Betty ford says i'm here all night
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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