shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
