Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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