dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
