I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
