Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
