Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
