I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Randomize
