I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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